I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
and you fell through a lawn chair
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
