just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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