i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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