Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
This is my gift to your gina
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
