How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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