I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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