last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
