Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
