How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
so let's talk penis.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
