All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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