i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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