almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
