no, he came in my armpit
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
