it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
