i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
