Small penises have feelings too.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
