so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
