i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
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