He asked me if I "almost moaned"
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
