RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
