There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
