My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
