it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
not ubering you a puppy
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
