all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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