I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize
