i don't like sucking hair
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Just high enough for therapy.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
