it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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