this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
