So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
