I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
