Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
