There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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