he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize
