she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
