Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
