Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Randomize
