Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
