I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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