All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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