a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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