you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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