I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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