She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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