There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
dude i'm inner monologue high
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
