I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
