Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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