I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
