dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I understand Curling. That high.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
