Already got asked if we're dating
accomplished twins. life is a go
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
