Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
