I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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